usapang magkaibigan..
friend1: kaylangan mabawasan tong naffeel ko.. need kong maglevel down.. :(
friend2: tapyasan na naten yang puso mo..
friend 1: naku, di na pwedeng tapyasan e..
friend 2: bakit?
friend 1: NAKUHA NA KASE NYA!
yes naman.. epekto ng buwan.. wooooot!!
bakeeeetttt????
di ko alam kung dapat ba akong maging masaya o hindi.. in denial mode.. waaaaaa!! :(((
ako na lang ang hindi nangingitim.. CHOS! bitter at walang outing na napupuntahan pa..tsk..
pero nakablock na ang twitter.. tsss. sana hindi alam ni IT ang tumblr.. :))
*sniff*
must be on my blog. :)
(via musicdependent)
then:
It’s been a decade..
The first time I held his hands was the time when we first promise that we will never leave each other.. Not anytime. Friends forever. Until he became a very special friend..
It’s been years since destiny taught me that forever is just a lie.
I lived a life wherein I tried to make myself believe that nothing happened. Things will always get better. Destiny will make a way for us to be together..
But then, a word tired exists. An action that continuously repeats every time sometimes makes you feel sick and tired. There are things that you cannot hold alone by yourself.
Until letting go is the only choice that I have…
now:
I can feel the same feeling. The first day when I felt so special. The day when I had this love thing inside. Same feeling from a different person.
I am happy. He makes me happy.
I am always smiling. He makes me smile.
He always say that things will always get better. I do believe in him.
He says that he will be here for me. I still believe in him.
All I can feel is the happiness inside whenever I am talking to him, whenever he’s with me. I feel secured. I feel loved.
But again, there’s a tiny part in me that feels scared. Afraid to be hurt again. Afraid that someday, there will come a time that he will hurt me the way I felt before. Afraid to trust. Afraid from falling.
Until he held my hand. And being with him is what I want..
WARNING: MAHABA. MADRAMA. AKO ‘to e.
Mula sa pagbukas ko ng website na ito isa lang ang naramdaman ko. Isa na akong ISTRANGHERO.. Hindi ko na nakukuha yung saya na nararamdaman ko dito noon. Wala na. Wala na ang dating sigla, ang dating pananabik.
Dahil isa akong tao na mahilig mag-isip sa mga bagay na hindi ordinaryo, pinag-isipan ko ‘tong mabuti..
Bakit nga ba? Ano ang nagbago? Hindi naman ang mga tao, kase wala naman akong bagong mga blogs na finofollow.. Hindi rin naman ang mga posts.. Hanggang sa ako na mismo ang umamin sa sarili ko.. “aah, siguro ikaw mismo.”
Hindi ko naman ginusto. Hindi ko naman pinipilit. Pero kaylangan e. Oras nadin ang magbibigay sayo ng dahilan para magbago. Tadhana na ang incharge sayo kahit ayaw mo man o gusto.
May mga bagay na hindi mo na kontrolado. Mga bagay na gusto mo man kalimutan at lihisan e hinding hindi ka talaga tatantanan. Direksyon na gusto mo man daanan pero pilit ka namang magkakaron nang rason para tuluyan na lang kalimutan. Hindi madali ang buhay. Hindi madaling mabuhay.
Sa mundong ‘to, ang mahina ay talo. Ang mabilis sumuko ay walang patutunguhan. Ang sensitibo ay madali talagang masasaktan. Kaylangan mong maging matatag. Kaylangan mong maging matapang. Walang ibang tao na makakatulong sayo sa pagharap sa iyong kinabukasan kundi tanging ang sarili mo lang. Lahat yan iiwanan ka sa bandang huli. Lahat yan tatalikod sayo sa iba’t ibang paraan. Hindi mo man napapansin, maging ikaw, unti unti ka nading tumatalikod sa mga taong minsan mong sinabihan ng “walang iwanan”.
Hindi man nila sinasadya, hindi man nila pinaplano, pero darating ang araw na ikaw mismo ang makakaramdam ng paglayo ng iba’t ibang tao. Ganyan talaga ang gulong ng kapalaran, may bago kang makikilala, maiiwan ang luma, sasama sa bago, hanggang sa ang bago ay maging luma at boom! ulit mula sa simula. Patuloy lang yan. Isang cycle na walang katapusan maliban na lang kung buhay mo na yung matapos.
Wala na namang pinapatunguhan ang post na ito. Kusang lumalapat sa mga letra sa keyboard ang daliri ko. Eto ang nararamdaman ko. Eto ang nasa isip ko. Magulo. Iba-iba. Buhol buhol.
Gusto ko ng kausap. Pero sa oras na magkakaron na ako ng chance na makipag-usap sa iba, nagbabago ang aura ko. Balik sa dati. Jolly. Makulit. Maingay. Curious sa buhay. Minsan pa ay nagtatanga-tangahan. Ako mismo yung tumitiklop. Ako mismo yung nagsasabing wag na.. wala yun.. arte lang to..
Madrama akong tao. Malalim. Minsan naiisip ko na baka nagsasawa na sakin ang mga kaibigan ko. Baka masyado na nilang napapansin ang pagiging melodramatic ko. Kaya eto, hangga’t kaya, pinipilit kong sarilinin ang mga nararamdaman ko. Ayoko lang kasing layuan ako ng tao dahil sa mga bagay na sobra sobra at hindi ko kayang limitahan..
Marahil dahilan kung bakit iniwan ako ng ilan. :(
Pero this is not about letting go and saying goodbye. Not even about accepting that you were the one left behind. This is about what I feel. About the reality that I wanted to escape from. About ME. About myself.
Self pity? No. Pagod lang ako. Pagod lang ako na magcover up sa isang tao na puno ng smiles at kalokohan. Minsan mas mabuti pang tumahimik at magobserve sa kapaligiran. Mas mabuti pang manahimik. Mas mabuti pang wag na lang lumaban.
So ano nga ba ang pinaguugatan ng post nato? Lovelife? Work? Social life??.. Hindi ko masasabi.. Hindi specific e. Lahat ng pwedeng daanan madadaanan. Lahat pwede. Lahat…
Rick Riordan - The Kane Chronicles
tapos eto pa.. released na ang book3!! shocks!!! XD
I can’t breath from excitement.. I want to read these books.. I want to have these three books.. I will have these books.. SOON.
- Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.
- Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
- Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
- Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
- Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
- Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
- Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
- Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
- Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
- Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.
- Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
- Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
- Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
- Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
- Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
- Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
- Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
- Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
- Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
- Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
- Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
- Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
- Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
- Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
- Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
- Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
- Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
- Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
- Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.